kokyreforest | Let's visit the LinLinBunny Cafe

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Let's visit the LinLinBunny Cafe

[ A news report just happens to catch Ivan's ears when mentions it the opening of a brand new cafe, the likes of which found its start in Japan. Ivan freezes in his tracks upon that magical word. A cafe started in Japan? He has to go there! He remains in the middle of the sidewalk and watches two reporters coo over petting rabbits as they also enjoy drinks and snacks. They look very happy.

Ivan quickly jots down the name of the place, and back at the training room, he does a search for the bunny cafe on his phone. Oh. It looks to be on the Silver Stage, a small distance away from most of the stations. That makes it a little harder to visit. ]

So, either a taxi for on foot... How much would a taxi even cost me...?

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[Two? Make that three. Another employee comes up with a tan-colored rabbit and gleefully holds it out to Barnaby.

"Here!" she says. "We named this one after you!"]

[ He tries really hard not to laugh at his kouhai. He's trying really hard.

Okay, he's going to blame the laughs on how high this rabbit is climbing on him and nuzzling his chin. That is why he's laughing. This bunny is soft and ticklish and cute, and it has nothing to do with Barnaby having three rabbits in his lap. And it looks like other rabbits are starting to get curious, perhaps wondering if Barnaby has some treats to attract all those three bunnies.

Except for the rabbit Ivan has, which is starting to nibble on his hair... ]

[ “We named this one after you!”

Well now it would just be plain rude to refuse, wouldn’t it? And yet Barnaby seriously considers doing so for a few moments. His dignity can’t continue to sustain continuous damage like this, though he’s fairly sure that some of the attendants would have snapped pictures by now. And not just one, either – likely several. Enough to make any news outlet supremely happy for a few days.

There’s no backing down now… so Barnaby reaches out to take the third one. Trying not to think about how they’re nuzzling him and making themselves comfortable in his arms… or that they’re kind of cute. That just won’t do.

Help him, someone. Anyone. ]

[No help from the tiny god. She's scooped up another bunny (this one black) in one arm and her other is holding out her cell phone to take a picture of the bunny-covered Bunny. Fortunately, it's just one picture and she's snapping shots of the cafe in general and the bunny in her lap. In-between, she asks one of the attendants:]

Can we get some food to feed them?

[Pao-Lin's priorities are predictable.]

[ One of the employees direct Pao-Lin to the bowls of greens placed on the tables. Those aren't salads for the people, though they've heard about Barnaby's near vegetarian lifestyle. Maybe they should market something for that!

Don't worry, Kouhai. Senpai has got your back. Sort of. Because the bunny climbing on him has gotten very zealous with its climbing and nibbling. Ivan falls over to his back, and those extra bunnies that had been eyeing Barnaby (Because why does he have so many rabbits? Are there treats?) now decide to tackle the fallen hero. The employees start laughing and focusing on Ivan's antics.

And that bunny is still trying to eat his hair. It's not hay! ]

[ Unfortunately for Ivan, the first thought that comes to mind from Barnaby is at least someone else is being assaulted by bunnies this time. He's also grateful that he's not the one having his hair chewed on. That would be a fashion disaster. But, those thoughts aside, it seems as though he's finally learning to enjoy himself here.

The bunnies that he's holding seem quite content to settle down in his arms. The employees are whispering excitedly about the cute picture that these heroes present with their bunnies, even if they're unaware that two of them hold that status. But isn't this a great opportunity for a photo for their website? ]

[ He can't hold all these bunnies, and they don't seem to be letting him sit back up. Ivan tries to move one more time before surrendering to his bunny fate with his arms flopping to the ground. Here lies Ivan Karelin. Dead by bunnies. It's almost like Ivan will lay their peacefully for the whole visit as the bunnies hop on him. Yet, the nibbling bunny decides to climb on his face.

Ivan sputters and tries to pry it off him. One of the attendants finally offers a hand to the bunny stricken customer. After taking more pictures for the cafe scrapbook, of course. Plus, she's able to get a little closer to her idol in the process. He looks so much more handsome in person. Can they contact his publicist for rights to use his photo for the cafe? Maybe they can offer free visits for the hero. Private bookings too! (Would her boss approve of the idea? ~~liek omg~~ It's Barnaby Brooks Jr.!!)

Finally able to sit up again now that the rabbits have been, temporarily, shooed away from the ninja, the attendant places the nibbling bunny back into his lap. "Sorry about that. I think it really likes you. Normally, it's so shy. We almost thought that it would never get from behind things." ]

[ At the comment about the rabbit liking to hide behind things, Barnaby forces himself to stifle his amusement. If only the attendants realised just how similar to Ivan that description actually was, he’d say that the bunny was perfectly suited to the young hero. But he can’t actually get away with saying something like that, not wanting to give the attendants any reason to be suspicious. He’s trying his best not to draw any additional attention to the two of them today.

For now, he seems surprisingly content with the bunnies that he’s managed to accumulate. Suddenly there are a lot of attendants focused around them, mostly taking a lot of pictures of them. Particularly of him, but for once he doesn’t seem to notice where the cameras are in relation to himself. He seems content to sit there, stroking the bunny in his lap. It seems to have fallen asleep already. Just like its namesake… ]

I believe we may well have to stay longer than the intended timeframe. What do the two of you think?

Sounds good to me!

[Pao-Lin hopes they won't get any calls from HeroTV today. She just wants to roll around on the floor with all the bunnies! Buuuut if she actually did that she might run the risk of squishing them, and that wouldn't be good at all. Pao-Lin contentedly scratches the head of a bunny clinging to her thigh.

"So, Mr. Barnaby," one of the employees says as she lowers her camera, "how's your motorcycle? I heard it broke down recently."

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh nutbunnies.]

[ What is that foreboding aura of doom filling the room? Ivan feels as if his heart stopped. He hardly notices that the nibbling bunny is once more attempting its climb to resume trying to snack on Ivan's hair. (Bunny stop that. You'll get sick.)

Why does that question sound so familiar? ]

M-Motorcycle? Broken?

[ His eyes go wide. As if in slow motion, Ivan turns his head towards Pao-Lin. They couldn't possibly mean... Did those three girls...? This was never supposed to get out for a million different reasons. Ivan's going to get into so much trouble. ]

[ Just what was this about? Barnaby turns to pin Ivan with an unsure look for a moment; his reaction tells him everything that he needs to know. Whatever happened isn't relevant at this point in time, but it will become so soon enough. Oh, will it.

He smiles at the employee with something of a strained expression. He has to take a moment to remind himself that this is for the greater good. ]

I managed to have it repaired without incident. Thank you for your concern.

[ Someone would have to try and piece Pao-Lin and Ivan back together after all of this was over, too. ]

[The employee claps her hands together in relief. "Oh, that's good! I bet it was a pain having to hitchhike on the highway like that. Hopefully you won't have to do it again." She laughs, and then adds conspiratorially: "So, you like Asian girls, huh?"

Forget death by bunnies. Ivan and Pao-Lin are going to suffer death by Bunny.]

Edited (because bad puns needed to be made) 2014-07-30 09:41 (UTC)

[ They are so dead. Ivan has gone a deathly shade of pale, almost like Judge Petrov. Yet for looking like he's about to pass out where he sits, Ivan becomes surprisingly and uncharacteristically loud. ]

I-I heard that-that one was just an impostor or a impersonator!

[ Like that one anthology comic. ]

I-I mean... d-doesn't Origami Cyclone seem like the type? A-All that Japanese culture... he-he-he's probably not even Japanese! An-an-and he shapeshifts!

[ Perfect plan. Let's drag Origami Cyclone through the mud filled with sharp rocks. He can survive his blog getting flamed by angry Barnaby fans for daring to just try to get him and Pao-Lin back home. He'll take one for the team, whichever "team" this is right now. ]

[

For the moment Barnaby is going to stay completely silent. Part of it is due to seeing if the other two could worm their way out of that one, and the other was due to not wanting to answer the employee's question. Usually he had a much easier time deflecting those kinds of questions... but right now, he didn't feel particularly inclined to.

Would this even get better? Or would it get so much worse first? ]

[Hey, kids, guess what time it is -- it's LinLin Comedy Hour! Don't touch that dial, we'll be right back with some ~hilarious~ hijinks!

"Huh?" one of the employees asked. "But Barnaby just said that his motorcycle really did break down..."]

Um, Origami probably just heard about it and used it as an excuse and stuff!

[Another one snickers. "Well, I guess Origami would be pathetic enough to impersonate a much better Hero than him." She rolls her eyes. "I don't know why he's so popular when his ranking is so low and he barely actually does anything Heroic."]

[ Someone give him that carrot that's meant for the bunnies. He's going to commit harakiri with it for his shameful actions. ]

Yeah... he's a complete loser... I mean, haha... I heard there wasn't even a motorcycle around... ha... ha... haaa...

[ This is the sound of his heart breaking de gozaru. ]

[ Now that is stepping over the line. Barnaby's expression fades into something less pleasant than it was earlier. Whether or not they're trying to cover their tracks, something just doesn't sit right with him. Especially coming from employees who are supposed to be his own "fans". ]

I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about my colleague that way.

[ Aimed at the employees, of course. ]

He too is a hardworking Hero. Perhaps I should take my business elsewhere if that's how you feel.

["A-ah, we're sorry, Barnaby!" an employee says. "We didn't mean..."

"Mikayla was just joking," adds another, sliding a "friendly" arm around the Origami smack-talker. "Isn't that right, Mikayla?"

Mikayla grumbles. "Yeah, sure." Clearly she's not as much of a fangirl as the other cafe workers. "Sorry, I guess." Soon after, she's quickly escorted away by her co-worker, ostensibly to get a quick lesson in How to Kiss Up to Celebrities.

"Well, anyway!" pipes up the worker who had initially greeted the trio at the door. "I hope all of you are enjoying the bunnies."

Said bunnies have been, of course, doing their own thing during the spectacle that had just unfolded. At present, one is pawing at Pao-Lin's stomach. (No, bunny, you cannot claw your way into the tiny god.)

"Can I get any of you something to eat or drink?" the worker continues.]

Oh! I'll have the bunny cake and iced tea!

[Yes. Let us all drown our awkwardness in food.]

Same here...

[ He doesn't even really hear what Pao-Lin ordered, but he doesn't really feel like trying to pick something out for himself. Ivan leans forward until he can bury his head on the table before him. The nibbling bunny manages to climb up Ivan and to the table to sit on his head. This rabbit...

"Uh oh... it looks like we have a secret Origami fan. I'm sorry about Mikayla." The worker pats Ivan's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure your hero will be able to hit the mid-ranks someday." She'll then try to discourage the rabbit from sitting on Ivan's head while waiting for Barnaby's order. (Spoiler: the rabbit is already trying to make its way back to Ivan.) ]

[ Enjoying the bunnies? Yes. Enjoying the atmosphere? Not so much. Barnaby doesn't know how to respond at all to begin with, nevermind the fact that he's slowly beginning to get covered in bunnies too. They all seem to want to cuddle up to him, oblivious to the fact that he isn't responding very much at all. Bunny and bunnies, who would have thought? ]

That will be fine for me as well, please.

[ Might as well venture out of his comfort zone. Once the last employee is out of earshot, however, Barnaby turns on the younger Heroes. ]

You have thirty seconds to explain yourselves.

[Thirty years might not be enough to justify themselves for this.]

We're sorry, we're really sorry! It's just...we were stranded on the highway and trying to hitchhike, and...

[ Ivan barely manages to catch the rabbit on his head as he shifts to do a full dogeza. ]

It wasn't working, so I thought that maybe shapeshifting into someone else would work better, and it did, but we got scary fans of yours, and then we ran...!

[ The apology would probably work better if the bunny stopped trying to climb him. ]

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! It's all my fault!

... Did you try to call someone for assistance? Why was that your first thought?

[ Guys, please. ]

We didn't have our phones or our PDAs with us...I think the same NEXT power that stranded us also took those from us. [Damn plot hole NEXT!

But she realizes, belatedly, that maybe instead of hitchhiking, they could have just asked to borrow someone's phone. Oops.]

[ And there was the fact that they feared Natasha would kill them upon finding out. ~~And before the Beginning showed that everyone had a transporter~~ ]

No one would even stop to let us ask to use their phone... And there probably wouldn't have been any signal as far out as we were...

[ They've mentioned the crazy fans and running away... they have yet to mention how they got back to Stern Bild... ]

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